Hearty

Remember the post I wrote a couple of weeks ago about the fact that I am getting divorced ?   Yeah, of course you do. Well the flip side of that is I’m single.   Sort of.   Not legally able to get married at this point (thank god), but able to date.   Something I am just a tiny bit out of practice on…which makes me over think it. And while doing so, it dawns on me, that my life isn’t exactly private. Clearly I do not have a ‘public’ life on camera, but once you know my name….well….you can Google me.   And that gives you access to A LOT.   Not every single part of my life, but LOTS of it.   40 pages of entries with my name on them.   My writing.   Video.  Comments.  And that makes me nervous.   Why? Because, there is no way to avoid the “I have three children” conversation, let alone “I have three special needs children”, and worse yet, there is NO way to minimize the chaos that is my life.   I cannot even attempt to sugar...

I have been a special needs mom now for nearly 10 years. That sounds much more impressive than it is mostly because when my oldest was young, I didn’t believe I was a special needs mom, let alone have the guts to say it. The only thing I really would admit to was that parenting my son was  challenging . Ok not just challenging, but demanding, and unusually exhausting. Which made me feel like an utter failure. I remember having conversations with my husband where I was in tears saying I needed help with everything from the kids to the housework, where I tried to explain how I could be so overwhelmed after a day at home ‘just’ taking care of the kids and running errands. He never understood why I wasn’t giving Mary Poppins a run for her money and reminded me often that it was ME who wanted to be a stay at home mom. He was right  -  I did want to be a SAHM  -  but I never expected it to be so unbelievably hard, and I sure didn’t expect to be so bad at it. I watched friends and neighbors p...

I got this amazing card the other day from a good friend of mine who has been there for me through most everything these last few years and I thought that many of you would like it - so here's to Hallmark and to the amazing Linda Barnes who came up with these words... They say  what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well, what if  you didn't sign up for extra-strength training? What if you'd rather  catch a few breaks once in awhile? Is that so much to ask? At some point, you'd think you'd be entitled to a free pass or two: Skip this challenge. Avoid that crisis. Delete those problems. It's not that you're not strong or that you don't have what it takes  to get through this. You are, you do, and you will. But you've built enough character already, and it's time  for things to lighten up a little! I know it is not really my call, but if I were in charge of life's wheel of fortune, you'd get a free spin. And I'd be right there, c...

I’ll be honest, this is probably the first thing in my life I have written and didn’t know where to start - or end. So, I figure, go with what you know – be honest, straightforward, and do your best to find the humor. Here goes. I’m getting divorced. Yeah, not a real shock if you think about it. Three kids – two with special needs – one with perhaps more significant special needs, and the third? Arguably special needs – what with attention and sensory issues plus giftedness. Yeah. That’s easy on a marriage. I know what you are thinking: But Hartley, you seemed so happy ! Ok, but it wasn't like I was going to write about all of the bad things going on.  Not the focus I want my blog - nor my life - to have.  Now this is where you ask, Why are you getting divorced? The simple answer is: We want different things. What those things are *exactly* is probably a gray area, but sufficed to say, we are no longer living together. And won’t be again. Unless fate is evil and cruel. Then, p...