Hearty

Happy New Year! Ah, the end of the year.  The moment for looking back and remembering the past - the never ending TV specials of  “Top 100 Songs of The Year” or “Top 10 most fascinating people of 2010”.  It's the time when we’re supposed to think about all that we’ve accomplished in the year and make our New Year’s resolutions to improve our future.  I stink at making those resolutions.  Either I break them in the first week (willpower is NOT a part of my vocabulary) or I make them so weak that become meaningless. Last year I resolved “to remember to take the laundry out of the washing machine before it starts to smell”.  It was a pathetic goal…and I broke it within three days of the new year. I decided instead to look back at 2010 and see how it this year has changed me.  It has not been an easy one for us.  It was the first full year since my son Howie’s autism diagnosis.  It’s was the first year of him being in a specialized program at school and the first full year of him recei...

How many times have you apologized for your child’s “behaviour”? Do you find yourself apologizing so routinely, that you question whether you are now apologizing not for your child's behaviours, but for their differences ? Apologizing ultimately, for who they are ? In the past, I have apologized to clerks for Simon’s voice being too loud in the grocery store. I have apologized to Simon’s teachers, when he speaks his mind in a literal way that they find offensive. I have apologized for Simon plowing into the walls in his Sunday school classes. I have apologized for Simon not looking at people who are speaking to him, because they think he’s ignoring them. I have apologized to parents on the playground when Simon pushed their kids over. I had even taken to apologizing to third parties – “Sorry we can’t make it, but it will be too over-stimulating for Simon”. As my view of Simon’s diagnoses (SPD, Aspergers) have evolved – from “must find a cure” to “must learn to cope” to “must celebr...

Nick and Matt watching the Christmas boats in Lake Washington. Christmas was great.  But it is over. Which always has me recounting the year, and I know that is what New Year's is for, but it is that week between Christmas and New Year's that gets my brain (and mommy guilt) working on overdrive. It is like Christmas is the party that the year culminates in, and New Year's is the last hoo-rah before it is really over.  By New Year's, I will have had 6 straight days of mentally recapping my year.  This year, I plan to only focus on the positives.  Usually, I would say, "This year has been OK, but what really matters is that we are moving forward with XYZ therapy, strategy, new medication, and Plan ."  This year, I don't want to spend those 6 days focusing on what I haven't finished, didn't do well or could do better.  That's right.  NO New Year's Resolution for me.  Nope.  Not gonna do it. Why? Because parenting kids like mine - living the...

From my family to yours, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

It's already Christmastime and almost 2011! We've had such a great year. Right now we're getting started on a new CD, which we're recording in our new cabin-studio! We can't wait to get the tracks laid down so we can hear the difference in the sound quality! All but one of the songs on this CD will be Hartley Family originals. We couldn't take a family picture since Aaron's in Afghanistan, so we made a collage of pictures instead for Christmas. Aaron has been safe so far--for the past couple of months, he's been building schools and doing guard duty instead of fighting. Anna just finished her first semester in college at Henderson State University with a 4.0 GPA. (She's a sophomore because of the CLEP tests she took last year.) Micah will soon be 8 years old. It's incredible how fast the time has gone. He was 1 year old when we first started performing. When we were in Texas back in the early fall, someone gave him a banjo, and he has been l...

12 Days of Christmas -- SPD Version On the first day of Christmas, SPD gave to me A meltdown Oscar worthy! On the second day of Christmas, SPD gave to me Two heavy blankets, And a meltdown Oscar worthy! On the third day of Christmas, SPD gave to me Three screaming boys, Two heavy blankets, And a meltdown Oscar worthy! On the fourth day of Christmas, SPD gave to me Four spinning Egg Chairs, Three screaming boys, Two heavy blankets, And a meltdown Oscar worthy! On the fifth day of Christmas, SPD gave to me A five hour migraine, Four spinning Egg Chairs, Three screaming boys, Two heavy blankets, And a meltdown Oscar worthy! Read more »

My kids always do better and stay more regulated when we are able to play outside and get some good exercise. This is especially true of Danny, my 7 year old, who is a sensory seeker. The activities that calm him the best are ones that incorporate a lot of heavy lifting or deep pressure, like swimming, bicycling, and riding his Razor scooter. These are all great activities. In the summer. But as we live in the Midwest, Fall and Winter often bring weather that prohibits outdoor activity. There is a big difference in Danny’s behavior and mood when we stay inside too much, and especially when we watch too many videos. Over the years, I have come up with several activities that we can do indoors which give my kids lots of good exercise. Perhaps some of them might work for you and your children. Get outside when you can Though it can be pretty cold in the winters here in Illinois, we still try to get the kids outside as much as possible. I know it often takes longer to get them dressed for ...

It’s almost here – are you ready? I might be. I mean, I think I am. Presents from Santa. Check. Stocking Stuffers. Check. Waffle Mix (from Williams-Sonoma, holiday tradition). Check. Lots of Bacon (that’s not a formal tradition; it just tastes good with waffles). Check. Kids new Christmas Jammas. Check. Camera Battery Charged. Check. Fresh Coffee for morning. Check. New Kid-Photo-Clad Coffee Mugs. Check. Diet Pepsi for morning. Check. PLENTY of wine for *after* morning. Check. But you know what I still need? A Plan . Yep, A Plan . Not just any plan, The Plan . You know this plan, right? The part of the overall Plan that includes how to regulate your child during the UTTER chaos that will ensue the moment he wakes (assuming he sleeps) on Christmas morning. Yeah, that Plan . The Keeping Calm on Christmas Plan. The one that accounts for free time, and visitors, and family, and anxiety, and strange foods, and general chaos.  Do you have one?  No? Interested in hearing my Plan ?  Even ...

Tips for Reducing Christmas Break Anxiety by Chynna Laird , SPD author, blogger and momma Jaimie checks out the new things I’ve written on our kitchen calendar to coordinate with what’s on the one in her bedroom. She sees the big ‘Yay!’ sticker I put on the 17th indicating the last day of school before Winter Break. “Does that mean Christmas time starts on 17?” she asks. “Well, it means that your break from school starts on that day,” I say. Jaimie pauses, her face goes blank. “What are we going to do?” I give a few suggestions as she scribbles them all down in her notebook that she titled, “Plans For Christmas Break”. She puts everything under either Plan A, Plan B, or Plan C headings. Then she worries we won’t have enough to do and comes up with a few other back up events. I’m exhausted just talking about everything! But I’ve gotten used to this because, as odd as it sounds, it’s calming for Jaimie to know what’s coming ahead and having a plan helps her get through these changes thro...

March 25, 2007 was one of the most surprising and exciting days of my life.  The amazing news was first reported to my BFF (who had provided the necessary test) with a phone call that went - verbatim - like this: Me: Dude, there's two lines. Her: Holy shit, dude. I remembered I should tell my husband and there was general happiness all around. And then... we did a little math and cringed. It was going to be a holiday baby. Not that I cared for my sake - after seven years of failure and infertility, you take what you can get.  But I was sorry for my child's sake. See, my birthday falls between Christmas and New Year's.  Two of my cousins' fall a few days before Christmas.  My uncle's: Christmas Day.  I know a thing or two about how much it completely and totally stinks to be a holiday baby. Seriously, if I never hear the words "Merry Birthday" again it will be too soon. Other kids got actual birthday parties and actual birthday cakes and actual birthday gif...

This is one of those rare occasions when all you palm-tree people get to envy those of us whose minivans are encrusted in ice, and whose morning routines are about to revolve around meltdowns over mitts and boots. While the snow brings with it many, many challenges for our sensitive kids, it also provides unique sensory experiences that can be soothing, energizing, and refreshing. It’s important to show our kids that for every challenge SPD brings, it also brings opportunities. Here are 5 fun, simple, and sensory-friendly snow activities to enjoy this winter: 1. The heavy work of rolling those mammoth balls of snow for the snowmen. Be sure to have 2 crunchy carrots on hand - one for the nose, and one for your oral seeker. 2. That jarring impact of falling backwards - or jumping straight into - a big, soft pile of snow. There is no simpler, or more satisfying sensation for wee seekers. 3. For tactile and fine motor work, heavily tint a few inexpensive squirt bottles with food colouring,...

T’was the Night Before an SPD Christmas By Patty, her husband and Hartley T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The snack packs, arranged on the counter with care, In hopes, on our journey we’d be well prepared. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of Chex Mix danced in their heads; Ma in her hoodie, and I in my sweats, were to put away pillows and therapy nets. When in the back room there arose such a clatter, I ran at full sprint to see what was the matter. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a puzzled old man buried up to his ears, (In scooter boards, swings, and small colored spheres.) Poor devil had brushed ‘gainst our therapy stash, When it came down around him it made such a crash! He recovered with grace, so lively and quick, That I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. "What is all this stuff that you people collect? Are you Circus performers?”--the old man ...

As my First Things First series comes to a close, I am moved by all of the essays that have come before this, but also truly inspired by our last 2010 FTF post.  So, here is December's First Things First article, which was written by Gina St. Aubin In Colorado, Gina St. Aubin is a wife, mother, blogger, and advocate for those with intellectual and physical challenges. You can visit her blog Special Happens , follow her on Twitter as @Special_Happens, or look for her on FaceBook . For more information about First Things First click here . There is also a list of the previous First Things First articles under the " Guest Posts and FTF " tab at the top -- with the obvious title of "First Things First Articles".   I will be announcing the 2011 FTF writers in just a few days -- LOOK FOR THEM! : ) ----------------------------- Friendships Lost Leave Openings for Others by Gina St. Aubin Who hasn’t looked around and taken an unwitting inventory of their lives; which p...

Happy Hanukkah! It’s my kids’ favorite holiday, and we’re getting ourselves ready for eight nights full of celebration.  This year, Hanukkah starts at sundown on December 1 st , so we’re quickly changing gears from eating Thanksgiving turkey to decorating the house with dreidels and menorahs.  For those of you who don’t know, Hanukkah is a celebration of the Jews' victory in a battle to reclaim their temple from the Syrian army.  In order to rededicate their temple, the Jews needed oil to light their “eternal flame” candle.  They thought they only had enough oil to burn for one day.  However, a miracle occurred and the oil lasted for eight days, giving the Jews enough time to make more oil.  This is why the holiday is called the “Festival of Lights” and is celebrated by lighting candles for eight nights. Any holiday can disrupt a family’s routine.  One that is eight nights long can really change things up.  My son, with all his sensory issues, can’t sit through an organized Temple ...