FTF: Friendships Lost Leave Openings for Others by Gina St. Aubin
As my First Things First series comes to a close, I am moved by all of the essays that have come before this, but also truly inspired by our last 2010 FTF post. So, here is December's First Things First article, which was written by Gina St. Aubin In Colorado, Gina St. Aubin is a wife, mother, blogger, and advocate for those with intellectual and physical challenges. You can visit her blog Special Happens, follow her on Twitter as @Special_Happens, or look for her on FaceBook.
For more information about First Things First click here. There is also a list of the previous First Things First articles under the "Guest Posts and FTF" tab at the top -- with the obvious title of "First Things First Articles". I will be announcing the 2011 FTF writers in just a few days -- LOOK FOR THEM! : )
-----------------------------
And there we have it. Our supports. Family? Other parents? Other parents of special needs children, neighbors, friends?
Our friendships are probably the hardest to count. The hardest to consider. All around us, in a constant state of flux, it seems our friends and our friendships have changed dramatically. Many who surrounded and supported us through our ‘previous’ or ‘normal’ life may have all but disappeared.
As best I can recall, we thought it was a slow death of friendships, but in reality it was within a head spin. After J’s initial diagnosis, eyes still in a stare of disbelief, we found ourselves robotically picking up, dusting off and beginning the navigation of what was to be our life. Looking up and finding that not many people were standing with us left us feeling beaten. Some wanted to understand, to be involved, then shrugged with the lax of non-investment. Some family spoke in concern, yet displayed ambivalence and disinterest, finally making their distance. We were left with very few supports, very little understanding and an invisible roadmap to a place that shared no resemblance of our initial dreams.
Familiar? Most of us share a similar story of the blossom of our travels. As the road crumbled, forked or waved (depending on your perspective), silhouettes of friendships we held softly, sometimes abruptly, disappeared. We thought they were there, their presence of security and camaraderie beside us until we took a focused look in their direction and there was an open space...a void.
Read more »
For more information about First Things First click here. There is also a list of the previous First Things First articles under the "Guest Posts and FTF" tab at the top -- with the obvious title of "First Things First Articles". I will be announcing the 2011 FTF writers in just a few days -- LOOK FOR THEM! : )
-----------------------------
Friendships Lost Leave Openings for Others
by Gina St. Aubin
Who hasn’t looked around and taken an unwitting inventory of their lives; which parent of a special needs child doesn’t do this on a regular basis? In the back of our minds, on days when all seems in order, along with days of disarray, do we not consider which direction we’re going, how many dreams have been reached, mended, rearranged or forgotten? What will our next steps be? Who is in our ventilation system? What supports do we have?
Our friendships are probably the hardest to count. The hardest to consider. All around us, in a constant state of flux, it seems our friends and our friendships have changed dramatically. Many who surrounded and supported us through our ‘previous’ or ‘normal’ life may have all but disappeared.
As best I can recall, we thought it was a slow death of friendships, but in reality it was within a head spin. After J’s initial diagnosis, eyes still in a stare of disbelief, we found ourselves robotically picking up, dusting off and beginning the navigation of what was to be our life. Looking up and finding that not many people were standing with us left us feeling beaten. Some wanted to understand, to be involved, then shrugged with the lax of non-investment. Some family spoke in concern, yet displayed ambivalence and disinterest, finally making their distance. We were left with very few supports, very little understanding and an invisible roadmap to a place that shared no resemblance of our initial dreams.
Familiar? Most of us share a similar story of the blossom of our travels. As the road crumbled, forked or waved (depending on your perspective), silhouettes of friendships we held softly, sometimes abruptly, disappeared. We thought they were there, their presence of security and camaraderie beside us until we took a focused look in their direction and there was an open space...a void.
Read more »
Comments
Post a Comment