That’s So Cliché! -- Guest post by Alysia

That’s So Cliché!
Guest Post by Alysia special needs mom and blogger at Try Defying Gravity


When Hartley told me she was looking for a guest post about siblings, I knew this was right up my alley. I have three boys: Gerry is eight, Howie is four and Lewis is almost two. Howie has sensory processing disorder and autism spectrum disorder. I deal with sibling issues 24/7 and sometimes it feels like we are constantly walking on eggshells as we try to figure out how to best interact as a family unit.

I have learned quite a bit from teachers, doctors and occupational therapists about how to approach our son’s issues and help his brothers better understand how he interprets the world around him. Recently I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how to best share our experiences. For some reason, I keep coming back to the word “cliché”. Clearly, there’s nothing cliché or stereotypical about our kids with SPD – in fact, the only predictable thing about the disorder is that it is so unpredictable. Every kid with SPD is different. And every family dealing with children with SPD is different.

In spite of all this, I thought it would be an interesting to take some common clichés and expressions and see how it applies to siblings of kids with SPD. I’m no expert, but this is what has worked so far for our family:

1) Nip it in the bud. A few months after my son’s autism diagnosis, the whole family was playing in the front yard. My husband was kicking a ball to Howie and I was chasing the baby around. My oldest was sitting quietly, looking sad. When I asked him what was wrong, he said “I bet no one would notice if I ran away into the woods and never came back. I wish I lived in a different family.” Gulp. It was clear that in our attempt to jump in feet first to help Howie we had neglected to think about how it was affecting our oldest son. It took this moment for him to feel so left out that he was finally able to tell us. It was heartbreaking.
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