Marriage Advice Moms Don’t Want to Hear
I hear so many women complain about their husbands and I am totally guilty of this too. But, I am not in your average-run-of-the-mill marriage. My husband and I are raising children with special needs, developmental delays, complex neurological conditions, mental illness and learning disabilities. And that puts a different kind of pressure on our marriage.
This is the kind of pressure people experience that are dealing with chronic illness, unemployment or long term financial issues – only worse. This kind of pressure is centered on helping our children and that means the stress is ever-present for both of us. Which sets the stage for problems.
Often families go into full-speed-ahead mode right after diagnosis. Especially moms. We become consumed with learning everything we can about our child’s challenges: Spending hours researching, going to forums, blogs, support groups, calling doctors, and hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars going to therapists, psychologists, behavior specialists, and even MORE money signing up for social skills classes, and buying therapy equipment so we can turn our home into a therapeutic oasis for our child. We spend everything we have each day pushing the envelope to find ways to help our child. Because we are the MOM and that is what we DO.
But what often happens during the never-to-be-quenched-thirst-for-knowledge-mission is a polarization between husband and wife. You cop an “I know the answers” attitude that quickly leaves your husband to play the role of “guy who doesn’t know the answers”. And about a year or so down the road, you turn around and realize that YOU have done ALL of the work. And you get angry. Frustrated. Annoyed. Pissed off that your husband doesn’t understand your child or appreciate all that you do. Sound familiar?
Yet, as hard as it is to believe, it isn’t your husband’s fault. Not the answer you were hoping for?
Read more »
Comments
Post a Comment