Nanny Jo and the Underwear Solution by Caitlin
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If you’ve ever watched The Nanny, with Jo Frost - and even if you haven’t – you’re surely familiar with the recommended practice of putting your child back to bed in silence over and over and over (and over and over and over) until they give up and sob themselves to sleep.
I have watched Nanny Jo do this consistently on her show (which I watch occasionally to make me feel better about the chaos in my house, since mine almost never comes close to the chaos she encounters in her travels). Apparently this approach works every time. It’s foolproof.
But is it SPD-proof?
My little SPD Aspie, Simon, was still waking up over a dozen times each night when he was two or three years old. “Tired” doesn’t really do justice to the extent of my exhaustion during those years, before we had a diagnosis that made so many of Simon’s challenges more clear.
Even without a diagnosis, I didn’t have the heart to let Simon sob himself to sleep as a toddler. He co-slept, we slept beside his bed, we held his hand, rubbed his back, got him water, sang lullabyes. None of which really addressed the silent sensory problems he was, unbeknownst to us, stuggling with each and every night. I remember he used to squeeze my pinky finger obsessively, to help him drift off to sleep. It baffled me, but now of course, I understand.
The issue with Nanny Jo’s techniques (which are of course not just hers, but are widespread) is that I’m not sure it’s wise to leave ALL parents universally with the assumption that their child’s sleeping problems are merely excess neediness, and that they should be quashed with a firm and inflexible routine. A routine that includes ignoring what they are saying to you, in favour of a silent and swift return to their bed.
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