How to Tell Your Child He/She Has SPD

A young couple walked into a support group meeting I attended the other day; holding hands, exchanging glances, and looking worried and nervous. I quickly offered them a seat next to me, and listened closely when it was their turn to introduce themselves. They had two young boys, one four and one two. Their oldest was newly diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder and they were very confused. I could relate immediately – that was me five years ago.

Before long I was sharing information on resources, support organizations and what books to read. I even made suggestions on to how to help their child eat better and get a haircut without melting down. But then, the husband asked me a question I just wasn’t expecting: How do I tell my child he has Sensory Processing Disorder?

Great question.

As I began sharing with them the benefits of talking openly about SPD with their child, I thought about how crucial understanding SPD was to my son’s development, self-regulation and self esteem.

Someone wiser than I once said, “If you don’t label your child accurately, someone else will inaccurately.” And my experience has proven this to be true.

I do understand the argument not to tell our children what is going on with them – that somehow the knowledge of their disorder will give them ammunition to behave badly and blame it on one acronym or another. But for me, I am not as worried about how they can benefit from the label, but rather how the label can benefit them.

If your child had diabetes – would you not explain how they needed insulin or how too many carbohydrates would cause them harm? Of course you would. If your child had Celiac Disease, wouldn’t you teach them from day one how to respond when offered a muffin? Of course you would. Just because Sensory Processing Disorder is a neurological disorder – invisible to the naked eye – doesn’t change the need for our kids to learn how their bodies work, and what they need (and what they should avoid). Perhaps the ‘invisible’ nature of their disorder makes it that much more important they know what is going on.

I believe knowledge is power – and if this is true for adults, it is equally true for kids. After all, if you aren’t told what is going on, how can you understand it, let alone gain a mastery of it? We as parents spend a great deal of time and energy learning about our kid’s diagnoses. Once we get that information solidly in our grasp, we use it to advocate for our kids with teachers, doctors and professionals, whenever we feel it is needed. The kind of power that stems from knowledge is key to our children’s ability to advocate for themselves – to feel in control of what is going on inside of them. I believe that when our children know what their bodies need and how to get it in a socially acceptable way, then they can learn to self regulate and that is what all SPD parents want for their children.

That kind of mastery is only achievable through acknowledging and understanding Sensory Processing Disorder.
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